Sickipedia Hottest #1

Some hottest memes and jokes extracted from sickipedia.
I translated them and added notes for the obscure ones.
Hope you like it, then I will update it daily.

☆ Today i put my phone in dark mode. It stabbed 4 people.

☆ …Loving this Coronavirus! Women don’t run anymore when I approach wearing a mask.

☆ I got stopped by a copper with a radar gun the other day. “Bit of a speed merchant are we, sir?” he asked.
“A bit, now and then,” I replied, “but I only sell to friends.”
So as well as three points I’m looking at three months.


注:甲基安非他命 (methamphetamine)在市场上按纯度不同分为三种,10-20%的被称为speed,80%以上的被称为ice,之间的被称为base。

☆ “Police hunt man accused of sexual assaults on London buses”
This must be a new kind of fetish, but I don’t see how it can be a crime, even if the bus is under sixteen years old.


☆ “I’m not happy about this,” I protested.
“Nonetheless, your son’s gender reassignment surgery starts tomorrow,” replied the NHS consultant. “The entire medical board have all agreed with her that she is a female trapped in a male body.”
“Even if it all works, and he ends up looking like a girl,” I said, “you can always tell by the deep voice….”
“He has a naturally high-pitched voice, so that won’t be an issue,” said the doctor.
“For fucksake,” I yelled. “That’ll break when he reaches puberty, he’s only 11.”


题外话:白左们貌似对性别这种“Not what I want to be”的东西很排斥,还整出来什么“性别认同”之类的扯犊子概念。那些自己觉得自己是女性的男性还有个学名,叫MTF。我想,既然这样,啥时候能考虑一下我们这些人在三本心不死的学渣,搞个“学籍认同”。\doge

☆ The Frenchman who had his face eaten by 5 rottweilers was in fact black.
It’s Dog eat Wog over there….


注:Dog eat Dog 用来形容残酷,作者逗机灵把Dog换成Wog玩双关,Wog是对外国人的蔑称。

☆ As I watched a documentary with my mate about the Hillsborough disaster, the tears just began to flow:
“Oh my God” I said to him, staring at his blank face, “are you a fucking robot?”
“Of course not” he replied, “I just don’t find it as funny as you.”


注:Hillsborough disaster是一场踩踏事故,死老多人了。

☆ ‘Billions of locusts swarm through east Africa-‘
“The sight was terrifying!” Said one of the locusts-


☆ Every time i have sex i always get cramp in my right hand from holding the knife。

☆ Found a wallet, and thought about handing it in and thought “Well, if I lost my wallet with two hundred and fifty pounds in it , how would I feel?” And I realised I would want to be taught a lesson.

☆ My grandpa said that we youngsters rely on technology too much.
I replied “No, you do.” and unplugged his life support.