Sickipedia Hottest #2

虽世殊事异,所以兴怀,其致一也

Echoing more than four thousand years, the most ancient joke dates back to the earlist days of recorded thought. The most complex piece of highly excitable matter in the known cosmos endows us the ability to write, comprehend and preach these laurel of culture.

☆ I was chatting to this Muslim in our street. I said “your wife wears a burqa, your 3 daughters all wear burqas, doesn’t it get a bit confusing around the house?”

He said “yes of course, last week I went upstairs in the night and accidentally had sex with my wife!”

我问我的穆斯林邻居:“你老婆和你的三个女儿都穿着袍罩,你在家不会搞错吗?”
他回答:“那肯定啊,上星期我就不小心和我老婆做了爱。”

注:穆斯林恋童的梗

☆ I walked into the pub and shouted, “All Muslims are cunts!”

A bloke stood up and said, “I’m very offended by that.”

“Why,” I asked, “are you a Muslim?”

“No,” he replied, “I’m a cunt.”

我在一间酒吧大喊:“所有穆斯林都是傻逼!”
一个伙计站起来说:“你这话太扎心了!”
我问:“为啥?你是穆斯林吗?”
他回答:“不,我是个傻逼。”

☆ When I saw those Muslims all mowed down by the van I thought “Jesus! That could’ve been me”

But then I remembered I don’t have a van.

当我看到这些穆斯林们被大卡车碾过时,我心头一颤,“天啊!这事也可能会发生在我身上。”
但转念一想,我并没有卡车。

☆ What separates the humans from the animals?

The Mediterranean Sea.

什么区分着人和动物?/什么把人类和动物隔开?
地中海。

注:地中海把欧洲和非洲隔开。

☆ A man is washing the car with his son. The son asks:

“Dad, can’t you just use a sponge?”

一个男人正在和他儿子一起洗车/用他儿子洗车,他儿子问到:
“爹,你就不能用海绵吗?”

☆ I saved a Muslim family of 4 that were drowning in Houston yesterday.

  As a jpeg.

昨天,我救下了休斯顿一家四口在淹在水中的穆斯林。/昨天,我把休斯顿一家四口穆斯林淹死的样子存了 下来。
 存成了jpeg。

☆ when it comes to nuclear war the main difference is; korea have a desk with a button, and America have a desk with a knob.

在核战上朝鲜和美国的最大区别在于:朝鲜的桌子上有个按钮,而美国的桌子有的是个旋钮/是个傻屌。

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