Sickipedia Hottest #4


是造物者之无尽藏也


☆ I’ve just been reading that, by law, you have to turn your headlights on when it’s raining in Sweden.

And I’m thinking, “Who the fuck’s going to let me know when it’s raining in Sweden?”

我刚刚读到:根据法律,在瑞典雨天驾车必须开大灯/在瑞典下雨的时候开车必须开大灯。
我在想,谁他妈的告诉我瑞典是不是在下雨?


☆ My doctor told me to take up an activity that gets me out of the pub.

So I’ve started smoking.

我的医生建议我找个事干来戒掉酒瘾。
于是我开始吸烟。


☆ I scared the postman today by going to the door completely naked.

I’m not sure what scared him more. My naked body or the fact I knew where he lived

我今天一丝不挂地出现在门口,吓坏了邮递员。
我不知道什么吓坏了他,是因为我的裸体还是因为我知道他的住址。


☆ I persuaded my girlfriend to smuggle my coke through customs by sticking it up her arse.

I didn’t know I could buy another can in the departure lounge.

我说服了我的女友把我的coke(1.可卡因 2.可口可乐)藏在屁眼儿里过安检。
我当时不知道我可以在候车室再买一罐。


☆ I got a phone call from my son’s school today.
Hello, is that Mr Jenkins?
Yes, how can I help you.
Hi, This is little Billy’s music teacher calling.
Oh, hi!
Yeah, hi. I just wanted to let you know it looks like you have a little Elvis Presley on your hands!
Really? Wow! That’s…
Yeah, we just found him dead on the toilet.

我今天接到了学校的电话。
– 你好,请问是Jenkins先生吗?
· 是啊,啥事?
– 嗨,我是Billy的音乐老师。
· 哦!嗨!
– 嗯,我打电话就是要告诉你,你手上正握着一位当代猫王!
· 真的吗?哇!那可太…
– 是啊,我们刚刚发现他死在马桶上了!

注:猫王就是死在马桶上的。


☆ A Muslim, a pedophile, and a rapist walked into a bar.

He orders a drink.

一个穆斯林,一个恋童癖,一个强奸犯走进了酒吧。
然后点了一杯酒。


☆ So Marvel Comics will introduce a female Muslim superhero who can fly.

Which is handy, since she’s not allowed to drive.

漫威回推出一个会飞的女性穆斯林超级英雄。
而且会飞,因为她被禁止驾车。



suck:1.嘬 2.糟糕



touch:1.触摸 2.感动
consent:同意,有时特指性关系中的同意



同上,玩的是touch的双关。






chip:鸟叫声(tweet也是鸟叫),这里chipper表示气氛更活跃
小朋友不能发r音,说话时一般发w音,比如untreatable-untweetable
所以鸟医生用小孩腔调宣布绿绿没救了(它的本意是,我一个鸟只能tweet啊,这里是双重双关),他们也会Awwww,因为听起来很可爱。



拼错了,把prosecuted拼成了prostituted



操你妈去
队太长了

微言大义







post:1.帖子 2.柱子
fence: 1.篱笆 2.冲突


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