Sickipedia Hottest #8

皇上不急


☆ The Muslim couple next door having sex 24/7
He’s 24.

我隔壁的穆斯林夫妇24/7地做爱(24/7大多数指一周七天,一天二十四小时,在咱们这叫双华为)
他24岁。


☆ “Water-resistant is not the same as Water-proof,” said the salesman, “There’s a subtle difference.”
“I realise that… I think I’ll look to buy a submarine elsewhere.”

推销员向我解释:“抗水和防水不是一个概念,这中间有一些细微的不同。”
“我懂了…那我去别家买潜水艇了。”

注:讽刺的是一些手机商家玩文字游戏,用抗水和防水的概念区别来拒绝保修。尤其是“让我长智慧”的那家,堪称文字游戏之大成者。


☆ If Ahmed buys 200kg of
Ammonium nitrate fertilizer
And his wife Hadiyah buys 200ltrs of chlorine bleach
How much per week do they claim in benefits.

如果艾哈迈迪买了200公斤硝酸铵肥料,
他的妻子买了200加仑含氯漂白剂,
请计算他们每周领多少救济金。

注:穆斯林难民买这些东西干嘛,不用解释了吧…


☆ In response to President Trump moving the US embassy back to Jerusalem, Muslims around the world in protest have called for a “Day of Rage.”
So just like every other fucking day then.

针对川普将美国大使馆迁回耶路撒冷,世界各地抗议的穆斯林呼吁设立“狂暴日”,
每一天不都他妈是这样过的吗。


☆ I’ve just walked past a homeless guy with a sign that read: ‘One day this could be you.’
So I put my pound back in my pocket, just in case he’s right.

我在路上碰到一个举着牌子的流浪汉,牌子写着“有一天你也可能会沦落至此”。
所以我把那一英镑放回了口袋,万一他说对了呢。


☆ Turn a regular sofa into a sofa bed by simply forgetting your wife’s birthday.
只需要忘记你老婆的生日,就能把普通沙发变成沙发床了。


☆ Scientists have just announced today that Dolphins are second to man in intelligence levels.
So that pushes women down to third place.

科学家宣布海豚在智力上仅次于人类/男人。
所以,女人排第三喽。


☆ I like that there’s more coverage of women’s football on TV these days. Do you know what the highest paid woman in woman’s football makes?
Sandwiches.

我很高兴地看到电视上越来越多关于女子足球的报道。你知道女子足球中工资最高的人创造了什么吗?
三明治。


☆ If you don’t believe in human perseverance you clearly haven’t seen a smoker trying to use a broken lighter.
如果你不相信人类的契而不舍精神,那是因为你没见过一个用坏掉的火机打火的烟鬼。


☆ Niggers are always going to be better at basketball than honkeys. They already know how to shoot, steal and run.
黑鬼一直以来都比白鬼打篮球打得好。他们生来就知道如何投篮/开枪,抢断/盗窃,跑。


☆ My seven years old nephew proudly showed me the ‘telephone’ he made using wire and cups.
“Not bad.” I toke out my iPhone and said. “But take a look at what Chinese chidren made.”

我七岁的侄子自豪地向我展示他用线和杯子做的‘电话’。
我掏出我的iPhone对他说:“还不赖,不过你看看人家中国小孩做的。”

注:童工梗。













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